Detached...

This is the first time that I have written on a work day/evening. Normally I am too tired and brain drained to write.  I thought I might write every day for a week - so I can see in black and white, just how it is.  OK so here goes. 

Morning starts with me waking up a little later than expected i.e. 6.45 am. I notice that I am running out of my favorite shower gel (Body Shop Satsuma) and make a mental note to buy some more in the Body Shop opposite my place of work (which I did not do today - I forgot. My mental notes are not very effective). I listen to Whitney Houston on the iPod while brushing my teeth (gosh this is sounding so boring already!!). No breakfast - never really get up in time for this to occur in a non-frazzled way. I was planning that this would be part of the new me in 2012 - i.e. eating breakfast. However this does not seem to have happened. It is a throwback from my days as a junior when the thought of doing the morning ward round would make my stomach wrap up in knots and food just seemed unappealing before 11 am.  And of course after the ward round I would be so hungry, that food would be all I could think of. Anyway I digress.

Today I had to get to Hounslow, the most exciting part of my 2 hour trek was the fact that I discovered today that  the district circle and picadilly lines are in different places at Hammersmith station.  So slightly sleepy-eyed I was walking across the road in Hammersmith at 8.40. The last time I was there was in 2000 one summer evening waiting for a friend. I remember that we had a lovely walk along the river, eating fish and chips. I still have the picture. And for a long time I could not drive by or walk by the Hammersmith bridge without crying. Anyway I digress again.

Work is as work does. Realised that I need to raise my game. Need to be more driven, motivated and actually achieve something this year.  I need to focus and not take my eye of the ball.  Need to set myself better goals, realistic and acheivable. Just be a little, or a much better version of me. So, meeting and then clinic. And clinic is one of those eye openers and learning experiences, on many many levels. And then leaving do. And then home. Home on the central line and no blue eyes. I am waiting for the day, when that expectation leaves me.

Now tucked away, listening to the radio - late night discussions on the state of the economy and the state of London and all the other problems of the world today. And in my own little world, I remind myself that I still have to decide on my pension 1995 or 2008 buisness. My e-mail tells me there is a water bill to pay.

Two glasses of orange juice and I am trying not to think about the fact that it is Valentine's day tomorrow. The buffer that 'it's all commercial' is not really working this year.  Actually it would be nice to have somebody to whom I could spend time with. However, it is best not to dwell on these things because they never lead to anything positive and productive. I remember today, that the last time I received a Valentines card was in 2004 and I do not think I have ever sent one. Is that unusual or just normal? I think at my age perhaps not even an issue anymore.

I forgot to mention yesterday, that I did not go to Church. Somehow could not make it to either WBC or HTB. I do not think I will be going to either places for sometime.  However I will have to find the time at some point this week, to download the Sunday podcast. I know that this is not really a good alternative to Church because it is as much about the relationships with other people as well as listening to the Word, but now I just cannot do anything else.

So I will prepare for another day in the 'West'.

Goodnight