I bought a little book some years ago from Welsey Owen/Dove Books when it was still open. I never really look at it, it sits in the back of my rucksack and acompanies me back and forth to work.
I picked it up today and opened it up on this page:
It is not work that wears people out, but sadness, anxiety and worry. To God all your griefs are worthy of consideration.
Philipian 4: 6 - 7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 5: 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
Something to think about this week...
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Sunday, 28 October 2012
sometimes we pray
Last Sunday I went to Holy Trinity Brompton for the seven o’clock service. The service was good – the worship was excellent. I found myself crying through the song “Guardian” by Ben Cantelon.
The service was by David Ingall and based around Isaiah 43: 1 – 7 .
Although the main body of the sermon was a hard message at times to swallow – I somehow found incredibly refreshing and encouraging. I think I have just honed in on those words that I have highlighted such, ”you are mine”, “I love you”, ”do not be afraid I am with you”.
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I am weak and not strong – if I am relying on 2000 year old words of scripture to keep my spirits up. I simply do not know. I have not quite managed to read any more of Isaiah but perhaps I should do – instead of falling alseep on the Tube! I get the tingling feeling that there is a message of hope to be found within those pages.
At the end of the service I went for prayer. Although I had many worries, I could not think of any one thing that I wanted prayer for so I asked the lady to just pray as she felt led. Now I cannot really remember what she said but I do remember her saying that God understands why I am doing what I am doing. God says that it is not my fault. God will be with me always. A little confusing and I am not sure that I really understood all of it but it somehow made me feel like at least the week could be started afresh.
I was reminded of the fact that I used to go for prayer on a 'regular basis'. I am not sure why that stopped. I even used to keep a record of this in my e-mail account. I opened one of these e-mails last week - written in 2011. This is what it said:
Not sure what to make about it now a year on and life very different.
The service was by David Ingall and based around Isaiah 43: 1 – 7 .
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cushand Seba in your stead.
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life.
5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar
and my daughters from the ends of the earth—
7 everyone who is called by my name,
whom I created for my glory,
whom I formed and made.”
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps I am weak and not strong – if I am relying on 2000 year old words of scripture to keep my spirits up. I simply do not know. I have not quite managed to read any more of Isaiah but perhaps I should do – instead of falling alseep on the Tube! I get the tingling feeling that there is a message of hope to be found within those pages.
At the end of the service I went for prayer. Although I had many worries, I could not think of any one thing that I wanted prayer for so I asked the lady to just pray as she felt led. Now I cannot really remember what she said but I do remember her saying that God understands why I am doing what I am doing. God says that it is not my fault. God will be with me always. A little confusing and I am not sure that I really understood all of it but it somehow made me feel like at least the week could be started afresh.
I was reminded of the fact that I used to go for prayer on a 'regular basis'. I am not sure why that stopped. I even used to keep a record of this in my e-mail account. I opened one of these e-mails last week - written in 2011. This is what it said:
"Remember you went to HTB on 24th August and somebody prayed for you
Said that God was singing over you and delighted in you"Not sure what to make about it now a year on and life very different.
Monday, 8 October 2012
Throwing the baby out with the bath water...?
Just ploughing through the 1st chapter of the Religion For Atheists by Alain de Botton (Wisedom without doctrine) and picking out the interesting bits.
"We invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not been able to solve with any particular skill:
1. the need to live together in communities in harmony, despite our deeply rooted selfish and violent impulses.
2. second, the need to cope with terrifying degrees of pain which arise from our vulnerability to professional failure, to troubled relationships, to the death of loved ones and to our decay and demise"
"Religions merit our attention for their sheer conceptual ambition; for changing the the world in a way that few secular institutions ever have. They have managed to combine theories about ethics and metaphysics with a practical involvement in education, fashion, politics, travel, hostelry, initiation ceremonies, publishing, art and architecture..."
Over the past year I have become more interested in why people follow religions/come to faith.Sometimes I wonder if it is just an accident of birth that we end up following one religion or another - or at least until we are old enough to make our own decisions. Sometimes, in fact many times, I have doubts about the whole thing. Why do I have doubts - the 64 million dollar questions? Many reasons - many of which are personal but I can see the 'benefits' of some aspects of religion which is why I am reluctant to throw the baby out with the bath water...
"One can be left cold by the doctrines of the Christian Trinity and the Buddhist Eightfold Path and yet at the same time be interested in the ways in which religion deliver sermons, promote morality, engender a spirit of community, make use or art and architecture, inspire travels, train minds and encourage gratitude a the beauty of spring"
"We invented religions to serve two central needs which continue to this day and which secular society has not been able to solve with any particular skill:
1. the need to live together in communities in harmony, despite our deeply rooted selfish and violent impulses.
2. second, the need to cope with terrifying degrees of pain which arise from our vulnerability to professional failure, to troubled relationships, to the death of loved ones and to our decay and demise"
"Religions merit our attention for their sheer conceptual ambition; for changing the the world in a way that few secular institutions ever have. They have managed to combine theories about ethics and metaphysics with a practical involvement in education, fashion, politics, travel, hostelry, initiation ceremonies, publishing, art and architecture..."
Over the past year I have become more interested in why people follow religions/come to faith.Sometimes I wonder if it is just an accident of birth that we end up following one religion or another - or at least until we are old enough to make our own decisions. Sometimes, in fact many times, I have doubts about the whole thing. Why do I have doubts - the 64 million dollar questions? Many reasons - many of which are personal but I can see the 'benefits' of some aspects of religion which is why I am reluctant to throw the baby out with the bath water...
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Religion for Atheists
So this is the book that I am currently reading. It is a fascinating read! Thought that I might try and summarise some of the most interesting parts. I especially find it interesting because he talks a lot about Christianity as a Christian (albeit struggling to keep my head above water and not really managing...) it is interesting to hear/read about a dissection of 'my faith' from a considered perspective.
There is a nice little interview between Alain de Botton and Graham Lawton in the God Issue of the New Scientist (17th March 2012).
The basic premise of the book is that reglion supplies lots of useful and supportive structures that atheists have rejected along with the supernatural. He writes that the origins of religion are based on the challenges of living in community and coping with the unpleasantness that life can throw at us. Religions therefore control, heal and console us. Religions provide structure to the inner life - choreographers of spiritual/psychological moments. Religions bind communities and remind people to be good and kind. Religions also state just how life is i.e. that it can be terrible and not everybody has it good.
Some aspects of religion may be accessible to non-believers and therefore invites the possibility of integrating practices, attitudes and states of mind into secular life.
And what of the atheists? Why have they left it all behind? Because they cannot scientifically appreciate God. It does not make sense.
I have yet to read the whole book. I have listened to it a number of times while driving back and forth to Brighton and Heathrow airport over the summer months. I find that my memory for things - is better if I have actually seen it. Well have been so busy with work and other things that I have onlly made it to page. But everybody knows the last line by now.
"Religions are intermittently too useful, effective and intelligent to be abandoned to the religious alone"
It is a fascinating read all 10 chapters
Wisedom without doctrine
Community
Kindness
Education
Tenderness
Pessimism
Perspective
Art
Architecture
Institutions
There is a nice little interview between Alain de Botton and Graham Lawton in the God Issue of the New Scientist (17th March 2012).
The basic premise of the book is that reglion supplies lots of useful and supportive structures that atheists have rejected along with the supernatural. He writes that the origins of religion are based on the challenges of living in community and coping with the unpleasantness that life can throw at us. Religions therefore control, heal and console us. Religions provide structure to the inner life - choreographers of spiritual/psychological moments. Religions bind communities and remind people to be good and kind. Religions also state just how life is i.e. that it can be terrible and not everybody has it good.
Some aspects of religion may be accessible to non-believers and therefore invites the possibility of integrating practices, attitudes and states of mind into secular life.
And what of the atheists? Why have they left it all behind? Because they cannot scientifically appreciate God. It does not make sense.
I have yet to read the whole book. I have listened to it a number of times while driving back and forth to Brighton and Heathrow airport over the summer months. I find that my memory for things - is better if I have actually seen it. Well have been so busy with work and other things that I have onlly made it to page. But everybody knows the last line by now.
"Religions are intermittently too useful, effective and intelligent to be abandoned to the religious alone"
It is a fascinating read all 10 chapters
Wisedom without doctrine
Community
Kindness
Education
Tenderness
Pessimism
Perspective
Art
Architecture
Institutions
Cupcakes, cookies and Church
So Sunday in April 2012 in Church in South Kensington. This afternoon I was serving in the HTB cafe for the five o'clock service. It was nice - all the cake, brownies and apple pie sold out. Fun afternoon, enjoyed the prayer time again. Although when we we asked to listen out for what God was telling us, I have to say I drew a blank, apart from four names of people, I barely know. Toby Flint, however has a picture of a man running the London marathon as strawberry. I shake my head in amusement/disbelief. However in seriousness I think he was trying the get across the point about be yourself. And for me, that meant about being authentic in all aspects of my life.
Brownies,smoothies, apple pie (cut by me...!) and brownies.
Cupcakes and chocolate cake (cut by me...!)
As for the service itself....Well - I really enjoyed the songs."Here For You" - Matt Redman, "This is our God" - Hillsong and "Amazing Grace" - John Newton among just a few that made me sing loudly (and out of key I think...!!) and with all my heart and soul with my hands raised. It was nice to focus on the goodness of God for a while.
However...I fell asleep (again!) during the sermon. Not very good :(.
The speaker was Jay Pathak. I think I was listening at the beginning and then was overwhelmed with tiredness! Ended up looking as though I had an avid interest in the floor but with my eyes closed. So I am not sure what I gained or the world gained from me attending Church today. Guess I will have to listen to the sermon again on the podcast.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Where's...?
The only reason I have posted this, is because I am in it! You cannot see me because it is too dark but I know I am there! Was a really nice evening of worship and prayer.
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Lift your hands
Have just arrived back from a prayer meeting at HTB, South Kensington. Again, quite something, maybe a little unexpected. Lots of prayer and some nice songs. Slightly different musical set-up. DJ and lights, one could be forgiven for thinking one had stepped into a club. Maybe this is modern worship, gosh I am sounding old.!
What did we sing? The usual suspects: Matt Redman, Tim Hughes etc. Who did we pray for? Syria and everything associated with the Olympics. Lots of prophetic words and pictures. Some Arabs praying in Arabic for the Middle East. At least I managed to fight off some of my cynicism and just concentrate on a few things. Not sure if I feel quite so inspired as I did last time. Need to restore my heart, or sometime like that. Last time, I could not stop singing.
Perhaps I am a little tired today! Up early before eight am because I needed to complete the home improvement schedule that is taking place at my flat. I was up until five am sorting out the little room. So I think I have a five hour sleep deficit.
Have not had a chance to read anything inspiring this week.
I went to a child protection course on Monday at the Institute of Child Health - more like a refresher course really but very helpful. When I go back to work on Monday, I have a lot of work to do! Did not really go anywhere on Tuesday and Wednesday - a slight hermit like exisistance. However sometimes being at home is just nice. I went to the women's prayer breakfast at WBC on Saturday morning. It was nice. The speaker was the vicar's wife from All Saint in Woodford Green. She spoke about worry, cannot remember much of it now - except for verse 4 in psalm 37: 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart'.
Government started a petrol scare because the tanker drivers are threatening to strike. The teachers have already had their strike (pensions) on Wednesday. I tried to resist panic buying because in reality their is no shortage of petrol and there has been no strike announced. However my petrol tank was nearly empty and I thought that given everybody else is buying all the petrol, I bought £30 worth of petrol instead on the usual £10 that I buy just to keep the car going. However £30 only fills the tank half full at £1.38 pence per litre.
The only place I went to today was Walthamstow and Leytonstone. The Queen came to North London! First Valentine's Park, then Waltham Forest Town Hall and then Harrow. We went to Walthamstow but it seems we missed her! So took pictures of the posters instead!
So, that was this week so far. Three more days of annual leave and then back to work!
Friday, 23 March 2012
Born believers?
So I am reading the 'God Edition' of the New Scientist. I was interested in an article by Justin Barrett (Director of the Thrive Center for Human Development at Fuller Theological Seminary in California). I am just going to write down some of his thoughts, so that I can make sense of them.
"Music usually has to be drummed into us by teaching, repitition and practice. And yet in other domains, such as language or walking, virtually everybody is natural; we are all "born speaker" and "born walkers". So what about religion? Is it more like music or language?"
JB argues that religion comes to us as naturally as language. He says that we are naturally inclined to find religious claims and expectation attractive and easily acquired, and we can easily attain fluency in using them. JB suggests that we all share an intuition that the apparant order and design that we see in the world requires an agent to bring it about. He describes a number of studies that have been performed looking at babies and children and their responses things that they have been shown (video animations or objects that form part of their day to day existance). To make sense of the world babies divide things into 'agents' and physcial objects - agents being things that can act on their environment i.e. people, animals and gods. Some studies in children suggest that they believe that 'supernatural agents' are all seeing and all knowing compared to humans, something akin to the development of theory of mind. In his closing paragraphs he states
"children do not need to be indoctrinated to believe in god. They naturally gravite towards the idea"
JB suggests that
"these various features of developing minds - an attraction to agent-based explanations, a tendency to explain the natural world in terms of design and purpose, an assumption that others have superpowers - makes children naturally receptive to the idea that there may be one or more god which helps account for the world around them."
So children have a natural tendency towards religion but not anyone particular belief. His final words are
"the way our minds solve problems generates a god-shaped conceptual space waiting to be filled by the details of the culture into which they are born."
Human beings are complex! I found this article interesting because I spend my time learning and thinking about how children learn, assessing development in children under 5. I never really thought about religion in any of that. Which of course is odd because I spent at least two years teaching at Sunday school, the preschool children. I guess both sets of children were very different - which is why I find this so fascinating. The children in the Sunday school - could all write and tell me who God or Jesus was. Some could talk about prayer. Some would talk about Jesus as if he was a real and tangible presence in their lives/homes (which of course is the basic tenant of Christianity, so I am not so sure why I am so suprised). I, quite frankly was humbled by it all. What did I teach them - to be good to one another, to thank God for all things, as well as how to sing, draw, do puzzles, colour pictures, make pretend food to take on pretend buses to go to pretend picnics in the park. I taught them about eyes, ears, hands, feet, the job of doctors, nurses, policemen, firemen, how to fish., how to pretend to fly, how to pretend to row a boat. Sunday school class is hard work but lots of fun. I never really knew how much of anything they took in and I always assumed that the children that seemed to arrive primed with a preknowledge of God and Jesus, learnt this at home from their parents. Especially since I knew, many of the parents and know that they regularly prayed for and with their children and God was very much part of their lives, not just for Sundays.
So very different from the children that come to my clinic. I cannot speak for children whose families practice other faiths and I have never even had a conversation about faith because it is not why they come to see me. However I just wonder how 'religion' works in children whose developmental level, never really goes past that of a child of 1 or 2 years. Despite what the article above says - their needs to be some cognitive input from a child, they need to be able to process things from the outside world and express them. If they simply cannot do this - does that mean that they are not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, Sikh etc? Does it really matter?
"Music usually has to be drummed into us by teaching, repitition and practice. And yet in other domains, such as language or walking, virtually everybody is natural; we are all "born speaker" and "born walkers". So what about religion? Is it more like music or language?"
JB argues that religion comes to us as naturally as language. He says that we are naturally inclined to find religious claims and expectation attractive and easily acquired, and we can easily attain fluency in using them. JB suggests that we all share an intuition that the apparant order and design that we see in the world requires an agent to bring it about. He describes a number of studies that have been performed looking at babies and children and their responses things that they have been shown (video animations or objects that form part of their day to day existance). To make sense of the world babies divide things into 'agents' and physcial objects - agents being things that can act on their environment i.e. people, animals and gods. Some studies in children suggest that they believe that 'supernatural agents' are all seeing and all knowing compared to humans, something akin to the development of theory of mind. In his closing paragraphs he states
"children do not need to be indoctrinated to believe in god. They naturally gravite towards the idea"
JB suggests that
"these various features of developing minds - an attraction to agent-based explanations, a tendency to explain the natural world in terms of design and purpose, an assumption that others have superpowers - makes children naturally receptive to the idea that there may be one or more god which helps account for the world around them."
So children have a natural tendency towards religion but not anyone particular belief. His final words are
"the way our minds solve problems generates a god-shaped conceptual space waiting to be filled by the details of the culture into which they are born."
Human beings are complex! I found this article interesting because I spend my time learning and thinking about how children learn, assessing development in children under 5. I never really thought about religion in any of that. Which of course is odd because I spent at least two years teaching at Sunday school, the preschool children. I guess both sets of children were very different - which is why I find this so fascinating. The children in the Sunday school - could all write and tell me who God or Jesus was. Some could talk about prayer. Some would talk about Jesus as if he was a real and tangible presence in their lives/homes (which of course is the basic tenant of Christianity, so I am not so sure why I am so suprised). I, quite frankly was humbled by it all. What did I teach them - to be good to one another, to thank God for all things, as well as how to sing, draw, do puzzles, colour pictures, make pretend food to take on pretend buses to go to pretend picnics in the park. I taught them about eyes, ears, hands, feet, the job of doctors, nurses, policemen, firemen, how to fish., how to pretend to fly, how to pretend to row a boat. Sunday school class is hard work but lots of fun. I never really knew how much of anything they took in and I always assumed that the children that seemed to arrive primed with a preknowledge of God and Jesus, learnt this at home from their parents. Especially since I knew, many of the parents and know that they regularly prayed for and with their children and God was very much part of their lives, not just for Sundays.
So very different from the children that come to my clinic. I cannot speak for children whose families practice other faiths and I have never even had a conversation about faith because it is not why they come to see me. However I just wonder how 'religion' works in children whose developmental level, never really goes past that of a child of 1 or 2 years. Despite what the article above says - their needs to be some cognitive input from a child, they need to be able to process things from the outside world and express them. If they simply cannot do this - does that mean that they are not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddist, Sikh etc? Does it really matter?
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Joshua
It's midnight and I am just crawling into bed now, what a long day. I am more tired than I thought I would be and I can bearly keep my eyes open or stop yawning. Have just got back from helping at the homeless shelter and I just want to sleep.
Today seemed long and tomorrow is only a few hours away, so this is going to be a short one. The Tube journey was uneventful and I did not stay awake enough to read anymore of the 'Four Loves'. I did however manage to listen to the HTB sermon by Nikki Lee on 'Transforming Relationships'. I will have to tell you about it another day but it was a very timely talk for me. I forgot to tell you that I received an invite from WBC for the Disciple and Mentoring course. I am seriously considering joining. Although I am pretty certain that I could not do it for real. I have never been mentored myself and I am the least disciplined person I know. However I guess the thing is that I would not be alone but be guided by God and my other Christian brothers and sisters. We shall see...
When I eventually got to work, I spent the first 30 minutes on the phone to a social worker. Spent the rest of the morning dictating letters. Then discovered at one fifteen that no patients had been booked into my clinic, therefore spent the rest of the day completing my dictation and trying to complete my next teaching presentation on ADHD. I was going to say that I left work early but actually I simply left work before six. I went to WHSmith to buy a diary for 2012. Even thought I am trying to complete this daily blog - I still have to keep a written diary. I have kept one since I was 10 I think, they are all piled on a shelf in my back room. They are all page a day, except for 2011. For some reason I thought I would try something different and just write whenever the mood ovetook me. The result was a very short diary that started on 5th February and ended on 31st December with 15 enteries. The content was really boring too - just pages of ' I am so lonely'/ ''Oh my goodness I am 35 this year!' does not make for interesting reading!! So nothing really has changed this year but I am sure I shall be able to write something positive and productive for 33 lines each page. Having bought my diary, I did a guilty walk through Monsoon, their clothes are lovely.
Then, back to reality I took the train to South Kensington to St Pauls, Onslow Square. I have volunteered to help at the homeless shelter that is set up every Wednesday evening. It is part of West London Churches Homeless Concern. I go once a month and serve the homeless food for the evening. If I get there early, like today, I help with setting the tables - cultery, water and buttering the bread, taking out hot drinks to the guys outside. We have a choice of serving food, washing up or hosting a table. For the past three occasions that I have done this, I have hosted a table and I did this today. It is quite an experience. We have a three course meal, soup for starter, lamb and coucous for main meal and fruit crumble and custard for pudding. The food is actually quite nice. The guests are also pleasant too and very chatty. My table today was relatively quiet, Philip, Adam, May and Hannah (names changed) All with different tales to tell about life and the immediate day. Hannah told me she had been painting part of the day and told me a little bit about her family. May was an Afrikaaner, living in London for the past 14 months. She said she was not feeling well and therefore I launched into taking a medical history and rightly guessed her medical condition but she said her was stable. Adam was a fellow Nigerian and therefore we had a lively discussion on child-rearing in the UK versus Nigeria and the wonders of Nigerian food. Philip, was silent and thoughtful, seated at the head of the table, watching and listening to everything. Occasionally walking over to the side of the Church to check on his friend Stuart who was not feeling so good this evening. The funniest thing at the end of the meal, was Hannah pointing out a piece of vegetable on the table. "That's a tooth!". I told her it was not a tooth. She then told me, that she had been laughing all evening at me because she thought it was my tooth on the table. Clearly she had not taken taken note of my full 'toothful' smile! I had a few chats with a few of the other people volunteering. The lawyer with the human rights interest, currently working as an estate agent, with a girlfriend who works as a nurse at Great Ormond Street Hospital. Learnt about the exorbutant rents for two bedrooms flats in Chelsea. Then there was John, this young thing, full of energy and clearly a passion for Christ and spreading the gospel and somehow reminded me of Tigger, bouncing around and just unstoppable! I am pretty certain we shall be seeing more of him at HTB. I think he was the one that Pete Grieg was praying over at the Kingdom Come 'thing' last month. And the evening came to an end at 10.00pm we finished with a prayer and were allowed to go home. I never really know quite what to make of these evenings. I guess if I thought too deeply about it, I might not come to conclusions that would be particularly comfortable to hear/bear. I have yet to speak to another Christian or another person about. I have one more evening to go, sometime in March. I did not think, when I first signed up in September that I would be able to sustain volunteering every week. I am not sure what I will do after March. We shall see. I may well go back to the hospital visiting but we shall see.
(This elephant sits or rather stands in the front garden of a house along the road from St Paul's, Onslow Square. I think it is one of the 200 model elephants that were dotted around London before they were auctioned to raise money to protect India's elephants. I love model elephants. They are scattered all over my flat in various forms. The summer these elephants were in London, I took lots of pictures [now on Facebook page near you!])
And so now I am tucked up in my bed, thinking about tomorrow. Clinic in the morning and meeting in the afternoon. I will need to do some preparation and therefore will need to get up a little earlier than normal. I do not like getting up in the dark! Walking to the station, when the street light are on, is not much fun. However it is all good, all good. I have not had much chance to listen to the news today, however all the headlines I have heard and seen have been the usual catalogue of bad news, doom and gloom! Perhaps I ought to counter balance my record of news in 2012 with the good news reports that I saw on Twitter one day, related to CS Lewis. Anyway, enough already.
O di aaro!
Today seemed long and tomorrow is only a few hours away, so this is going to be a short one. The Tube journey was uneventful and I did not stay awake enough to read anymore of the 'Four Loves'. I did however manage to listen to the HTB sermon by Nikki Lee on 'Transforming Relationships'. I will have to tell you about it another day but it was a very timely talk for me. I forgot to tell you that I received an invite from WBC for the Disciple and Mentoring course. I am seriously considering joining. Although I am pretty certain that I could not do it for real. I have never been mentored myself and I am the least disciplined person I know. However I guess the thing is that I would not be alone but be guided by God and my other Christian brothers and sisters. We shall see...
When I eventually got to work, I spent the first 30 minutes on the phone to a social worker. Spent the rest of the morning dictating letters. Then discovered at one fifteen that no patients had been booked into my clinic, therefore spent the rest of the day completing my dictation and trying to complete my next teaching presentation on ADHD. I was going to say that I left work early but actually I simply left work before six. I went to WHSmith to buy a diary for 2012. Even thought I am trying to complete this daily blog - I still have to keep a written diary. I have kept one since I was 10 I think, they are all piled on a shelf in my back room. They are all page a day, except for 2011. For some reason I thought I would try something different and just write whenever the mood ovetook me. The result was a very short diary that started on 5th February and ended on 31st December with 15 enteries. The content was really boring too - just pages of ' I am so lonely'/ ''Oh my goodness I am 35 this year!' does not make for interesting reading!! So nothing really has changed this year but I am sure I shall be able to write something positive and productive for 33 lines each page. Having bought my diary, I did a guilty walk through Monsoon, their clothes are lovely.
Then, back to reality I took the train to South Kensington to St Pauls, Onslow Square. I have volunteered to help at the homeless shelter that is set up every Wednesday evening. It is part of West London Churches Homeless Concern. I go once a month and serve the homeless food for the evening. If I get there early, like today, I help with setting the tables - cultery, water and buttering the bread, taking out hot drinks to the guys outside. We have a choice of serving food, washing up or hosting a table. For the past three occasions that I have done this, I have hosted a table and I did this today. It is quite an experience. We have a three course meal, soup for starter, lamb and coucous for main meal and fruit crumble and custard for pudding. The food is actually quite nice. The guests are also pleasant too and very chatty. My table today was relatively quiet, Philip, Adam, May and Hannah (names changed) All with different tales to tell about life and the immediate day. Hannah told me she had been painting part of the day and told me a little bit about her family. May was an Afrikaaner, living in London for the past 14 months. She said she was not feeling well and therefore I launched into taking a medical history and rightly guessed her medical condition but she said her was stable. Adam was a fellow Nigerian and therefore we had a lively discussion on child-rearing in the UK versus Nigeria and the wonders of Nigerian food. Philip, was silent and thoughtful, seated at the head of the table, watching and listening to everything. Occasionally walking over to the side of the Church to check on his friend Stuart who was not feeling so good this evening. The funniest thing at the end of the meal, was Hannah pointing out a piece of vegetable on the table. "That's a tooth!". I told her it was not a tooth. She then told me, that she had been laughing all evening at me because she thought it was my tooth on the table. Clearly she had not taken taken note of my full 'toothful' smile! I had a few chats with a few of the other people volunteering. The lawyer with the human rights interest, currently working as an estate agent, with a girlfriend who works as a nurse at Great Ormond Street Hospital. Learnt about the exorbutant rents for two bedrooms flats in Chelsea. Then there was John, this young thing, full of energy and clearly a passion for Christ and spreading the gospel and somehow reminded me of Tigger, bouncing around and just unstoppable! I am pretty certain we shall be seeing more of him at HTB. I think he was the one that Pete Grieg was praying over at the Kingdom Come 'thing' last month. And the evening came to an end at 10.00pm we finished with a prayer and were allowed to go home. I never really know quite what to make of these evenings. I guess if I thought too deeply about it, I might not come to conclusions that would be particularly comfortable to hear/bear. I have yet to speak to another Christian or another person about. I have one more evening to go, sometime in March. I did not think, when I first signed up in September that I would be able to sustain volunteering every week. I am not sure what I will do after March. We shall see. I may well go back to the hospital visiting but we shall see.
And so now I am tucked up in my bed, thinking about tomorrow. Clinic in the morning and meeting in the afternoon. I will need to do some preparation and therefore will need to get up a little earlier than normal. I do not like getting up in the dark! Walking to the station, when the street light are on, is not much fun. However it is all good, all good. I have not had much chance to listen to the news today, however all the headlines I have heard and seen have been the usual catalogue of bad news, doom and gloom! Perhaps I ought to counter balance my record of news in 2012 with the good news reports that I saw on Twitter one day, related to CS Lewis. Anyway, enough already.
O di aaro!
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