"I'm starving. Don't take too long please!!"

So I rushed back home and cooked this vegetable fry up for my lovely companion.

Click and collect

Using Click and Collect for the first time!

It was a quick dash into town during my lunch break. I stopped at Starbucks for ham and cheese croissant and hot chocolate (they spelt my name incorrectly).  Then a tube journey into Central London.

Now I have my homework book! All good, all good. 

Early bird

Old habits die hard...

I am up early (five thirty in the morning!) trying to finish my Spanish homework. This is something I remember doing as an 'A' level student. 

The past week has been busy and I've not really had the time or the headspace to concentrate on this. 

Yesterday I was feeling yukky so I went to bed fairly early. I have to say that I feel refreshed after a good nights sleep. It's a nice feeling. I'd like to get used to it. However it did involve me being very antisocial and ignoring multiple phone calls and text messages.

Anyhow - the homework is partially completed. I need to purchase the exercise book and CD. I am looking forward to my Spanish class this evening!

Honey and Ginger

So much for taking care of myself...

I have been bothered by a sore throat all day. My body aches and I generally feel rotten.

It is time to rest and dine on Lemsip.

This version of Lemsip is Honey and Ginger and is rather tasty and soothing. I am hoping that the effects will kick in soon.I suspect somehow I am overdoing something. 

Pamper time

I randomly saw this on somebody else's blog. It came highly recommended.
I have been using it for the past month and it is gorgeous! I somehow decided that after everything that has happened this past year, I should probably try and take better care of myself. I can then be in a better position to help my family and friends. I scurried off to Westfield and parted with the best part of £20. I have not looked back. I feel calm and refreshed after each shower. It's nice. The smell takes me back to my 'A' level days there was something or somebody in the house that smelt like that. I cannot remember who but it brings back such a pleasant sensory memory that it just adds to the pleasure of the shower.

Baked Egg Custard pudding

They came out a little browner than expected. But they tasted nice. Reminds me of my childhood. Although my when my mother used to make them - they looked more attractive than this.

It was always a treat when this was served at the dinning table. 

Those were the days...

Eat beautiful

Another evening of eating delicious food. Thai duck with rice all for a cool £4.99.

Iranian Itinerary

I just love food.

This evening - Persian delicacies !

Aprender Espanol

In the spirit of trying new things in this new year - I have signed up for Spanish classes. It has been a long time coming. I am doing it because my partner is Spanish and it would be nice to speak to him in his mother tongue. I am not quite sure why I have not been able to do this before. Lack of time perhaps? I did start learning in February 2013, at that point I was away from work and I had much more time on my hands. I picked up a number of words but I never learnt to speak the language. So now it is back to school for me. I have enroled in Ealing School of Languages which is quick frankly a little too close to where I work but it seems to be the most practical thing to do as it means that I am not rushing across town after work.

I am looking forward to it immensly. Something positive do to and a new skill to gain. It will be hard work but it will be worth it.

Adios!

Cold feet

I came into work on Monday morning and found this on the desk. A blanket that my colleague was using to keep his legs warm. It is quite cold in the office.

Runaway train

So there are times when one really misses another person, in a way that cannot be put down in words. It is just a sense that you intensely wish somebody was there but you know that they are not going to be there -ever.

I am not sure what one can do about it - ride the storms? Batten down the hatches and hold on tight? I guess one just has to live through the process in order to allow healing and progress.

Today I was walking to Sainsbury's to buy food for lunch and I thought - "I miss my Dad!". It just hit me that I was never going to see him again - in away that I had not appreciated before. In some respects I have  been functioning as though he is "just away" and will return at a later unspecified date. I am not sure why I have been thinking like this. Maybe it is self-protective - because when I have flashes of the truth - it is so painful it takes my breathe away. Sometimes in quiet, unsuspecting moments I am taken back to that sunnny Friday morning in the chapel. I can see the coffin to the right of me but I just cannot believe that is is true. Sometimes I the music that we played at the Chapel will float through my head and cause my throat to tighen up and my breathe to shorten. The only saving grace is the feeling, the certainty that he is now at peace. When the coffin was lowered into the ground - I felt certain that my father was somewhere at total peace. I felt relieved that the suffering was over and that he now has eternity to rest and watch over us - until we see him again. 

I am going to have to get used the feeling of missing my Dad. I guess partly it has something to do with returning to the everyday but knowing that I am never going to see him face to face to tell him about the little details of my life. Yesterday I spent over seven hours in his 'office' sorting out papers and it felt as though he was there with me. With me, in the sense that I was forever reading letters and reports that he had written, I was looking through pages and pages of his familiar handwriting. It just felt like he was there. It somehow made a difficult job much bearable.

So I shall soldier on. It's strange - I am used to dealing with physical and mental disabilities impairing quality of life. However, I have to constantly remind myself that I am not sick, I am not ill and my body is working just fine. I guess this is part of the bereavement process. Having read so many books on other topics - one would have thought that I would have read at least one book on bereavement and now have all the answers. I have actually read two - I cannot remember much about what I read. Perhaps the most important things were to give myself time, in all things and to understand that people greave in different ways.

Let's pray for a brighter tomorrow.

Merman in the city

The Triton Fountain is a group of bronze sculptures that depict the triton blowing on a conch shell with two mermaids at his feet. The group stand in the centre of a round pool.

It is located opposite the Jubilee Gates at the end of the central walk which runs through the middle of Queen Mary's Gardens.

The sculpture group in the Triton fountain was given in Sigismund Goetze's memory by his wife, in 1950. Goetze was a wealthy and successful artist, who from 1909 to 1939, lived in Grove House (now Nuffield House) on the northern perimeter of The Regent's Park. He had a studio in the grounds and painted the walls of the music room with scenes from Ovid's Metamorphoses. His wife was the founder of the Constance Fund which donated fountains to Green Park and Hyde Park.

The fountain is on the site of a huge conservatory measuring over 1,700 sq m. The conservatory belonged to the Royal Botanical Society, which gave up the site in 1931.

The sculptures were designed by William McMillan, who also designed one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Triton is a mythological Greek god, the messenger of the sea. He is the son of Poseidon and Amphitrite, god and goddess of the sea respectively, and is herald for his father. He is usually represented as a merman, having the upper body of a human and the tail of a fish, "sea-hued", according to Ovid "his shoulders barnacled with sea-shells".

Like his father, Poseidon, he carried a trident. However, Triton's special attribute was a twisted conch shell, on which he blew like a trumpet to calm or raise the waves. Its sound was such a cacophony, that when loudly blown, it put the giants to flight, who imagined it to be the roar of a dark wild beast.

An urban climb (aka huffing and puffing my way up Primrose Hill)

It is January 2015! Happy New Year!

Peach Rooibos

I am aware that I have not written on this blog for over a year! I had almost forgotten that it existed. I have forgotten how it is different from my other blogs. I am thinking - not much. It is still me! Writing the same old stuff and posting the same old pictures. 

Today I went to Primrose Hill with my partner. He drove - he has just passed his test and loves the driving experience. 

Primrose Hill is 78 metres and affords good views of central London. We walked to the top of the hill, took pictures and then walked down the Hill. We walked through Regent's Park and made are way into town. We were hungry and looking for food! We made it to Great Portland Street and spotted Nandos. 

Chicken butterfly 

My partner is usually quite fussy about what he eats and where he eats and going to Nandos would not usually be on his radar. But some reason he was able to overlook this and so we sat down to a quick meal. 

I think I fared better because he did not look like he was enjoying his chicken butterfly burger. I do not think Nandos area of speciality is burgers! I had a hot chicken butterfly with sweet mashed potatoes and lusco beans. Spicy but nice. The dessert menu mainly offered variations of chocolate cakes and cheesecakes. But despite the fact that I have a sweet tooth and my partner is a chocolate fan - we opted for the bottomless pit frozen yoghurt option. 

Best decision we made - we managed to top refill 4 times. Although the taste was just OK - it was somehow very addictive.

Sweet mashed potatoes

Luso beans - black beans, cherry tomatoes, red pepper and onions with herbs and mild spices.

Mango frozen yoghurt

After we finished it was on the back on the bus and walk back to Primrose Hill. We walked through Regent's Park and stumbled across this little find.

Feng Shang Princess - Floating Chinese Restaurant

I got my tripod out and started snapping. This was taken with shutter time of 30 seconds, ISO 100 and F5.6. I think I like the result. However it's still a bit shaky, maybe because I did not put the timer on.

We trekked on back to Primrose Hill and this time we were blessed with amazing night views.

So my first excursion into London this year. 2014 was a rough year and ended unhappily. The start of this year was also difficult but in a way the beginning of a new chapter in our family lives.  I have this feeling that I just want things to go back to 'normal' but for starters there is no normal. And I know that our lives are changed forever, there is no going back. What I think I am feeling is a sense of guilt about wanting to get back to all the things that I previously enjoyed doing. It does not mean that I do not feel a deep sense of sadness but I need to do things that are uplifting, things that bring me joy. At the moment - that means getting out and taking pictures - my life through a lens.